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  • Writer's pictureEileen O'Boyle


This was a phrase I had never considered before a few days ago. It popped into my brain like a little bubble "why do we focus on loyalty to others and not ourselves?" I then of course immediately starting thinking about what self-loyalty would look like, what it would feel like. Self-loyalty is like having a best friend in your head. A best-friend who always has your back, who roots for you before all others, who would never think of harshly judging you, even while still telling you the truth. Self-loyalty sees a more balanced view of yourself. A view consisting of all parts of you; both strengths and flaws. For someone who routinely critiqued and hyper-analyzed everything I did and said, this new perspective was grounding and soothing. I started to indulge this feeling of self-loyalty and could feel real security building inside of me. I began to feel safer than I had felt in decades. Nothing had changed in my world except for one thing. I now had my own back. For this one moment, I had my own back. I felt strong and felt that I could ride out life's rough times with grace and ease. I started looking at my old fears through this lense of self-loyalty and, like a true best friend, it told me positive truths about myself that I had denied. It forced me to look at myself differently and acknowledge the positive truths about myself that I had ignored. Quickly, this new voice in my head began cheering for me. I liked it, oh I liked it indeed.

A few days on, and I'm still encouraging this new voice of self-loyalty. My feelings of security and confidence are increasing, and old fears are losing traction. I find myself able to accept and receive more than ever before and still feel like I have found a new best friend. Making it more fun and silly, I will even ask "self-loyalty, what do you think of...?". It provides a wonderfully fresh perspective on everything! Self-discovery doesn't always have to be painful and hard. Sometimes it can be enjoyable and fun! Seeing the world through the eyes of self-loyalty offers us all an important viewpoint. A viewpoint that helps us become more self-aware of the best aspects of ourselves.

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